


5 Letters from Amsterdam

by summerblues



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Oblivious Hinata Shouyou, Pining Kageyama Tobio, Pro Volleyball Player Kageyama Tobio, University Student Hinata Shouyou, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:08:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27326332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerblues/pseuds/summerblues
Summary: We graduated high school – barely. We weren't really doing well academically. It was always volleyball for us, so imagine my shock when he told me, right after the graduation ceremony, that he's going to study in Amsterdam. Obviously, I was immediately going pro. I thought he would do the same. He has the skills. Yes, he needs to practice more, but he's already very good. I was sure professional teams would be dying to recruit him. It doesn't make any sense to go far to pursue college, of all things. But what can I do, right? It’s his life. I wouldn't do anything that would meddle with his happiness. And so, I wished him good luck and told him to write me letters from time to time. Yes, I’m old-fashioned like that.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio
Kudos: 30
Collections: Haikyuu Angst Week 2020





	5 Letters from Amsterdam

**Author's Note:**

> (let’s pretend japan and amsterdam r in opposite sides of the world,,, wrote something ab it below)
> 
> also, if you can, please listen to Meet Me in Amsterdam by RINI (my inspo for this fic)

I met Shoyo Hinata when we were in high school. We were inseparable. We share the same love for food, hate for studying, and obsession with volleyball. We spend every waking moment training. If we don't, we look for the best after-practice snacks or play video games we both suck at. We were happy teenagers enjoying youth far too much. We were the best of friends, still are. Until one day, during our third year, I realized I like him – romantically.

Shoyo doesn't know about this, of course. After recognizing my own feelings, nothing really changed. I treated him the same way – I throw insults at his face, and while his back is turned, I’ve got nothing but praises for my volleyball partner.

We graduated high school – barely. We weren't really doing well academically. It was always volleyball for us, so imagine my shock when he told me, right after the graduation ceremony, that he's going to study in Amsterdam. Obviously, I was immediately going pro. I thought he would do the same. He has the skills. Yes, he needs to practice more, but he's already very good. I was sure professional teams would be dying to recruit him. It doesn't make any sense to go far to pursue college, of all things. But what can I do, right? It’s his life. I wouldn't do anything that would meddle with his happiness. And so, I wished him good luck and told him to write me letters from time to time. Yes, I’m old-fashioned like that.

The first letter came when we were 20. There was nothing much about the letter, really. He wasn't into writing so it's truly understandable. There were plenty of pictures though, and typical Shoyo, he didn't take the touristy ones. The pictures were random – a small park, a garden full of tulips, the university he's gonna study at. The last one was a selfie of him smiling while doing the V sign with his hand. Written at the back was, "Meet me in Amsterdam, Bakageyama!" His vocabulary, like mine, has always been limited, and it shows. I replied by sending him a postcard of japan with a scribbled "I will meet you there soon, Boke" in it.

The second came months after. In contrast with the first, it was full of words – all in the form of frustration. The letter was a detailed experience of his life in the university. Whoever John is, I hope you rot in hell because all you ever do is— no, you never do anything at all. The members accomplish all the work for you, you freeloader. That being said, I kinda hate him for sending that one since it felt like he was burdening me with his worries – I had enough distress of my own. At the same time though, it made me so happy that he did. His trust in me didn't dwindle. I feel like I was still his source of comfort. I was still his solace in the midst of all the troubles he's going through. Anyway, that was what his letter's all about. At the bottom part, he wrote a postscript saying, "You better meet me in Amsterdam, ASAP! I miss you." Upon reading that, my heart stopped beating for a minute, and then throbbed ridiculously fast right after. I didn't respond with a letter. Instead, I sent a huge box containing all the snacks he loves. I got a phone call after he received it saying he's not into snacks anymore, but he thanks me nonetheless. I missed hearing his voice. And of course, I miss him too. So much.

The third letter came a year after. The front of the envelope had the words, "Why aren't you here yet? Meet me in Amsterdam now!" I received it right after our team lost a match, so I wasn't in a good mood to begin with. What’s more frustrating is that I didn't get to play the last set because I twisted my ankle. I told him that through a text. He immediately replied, asking if my ankle was okay, to take it easy with the training for a few days, and of course, words of encourgement. I immediately calmed down after that. He always has that effect on me. He knows how to make me feel better in a heartbeat. As if he was air, it became easier to breathe. Like the sun, he instantly brought warmth to my heart. I miss him so bad.

The fourth letter – wow. I can't believe he had the patience and perseverance to write a 5-paged one. It was all in English, even! Maybe it's the result of being in a university; he's getting better at academics. I guess he doesn't hate studying like he used to. One more difference we have. He told me it's a good practice for my English too, since I’m playing overseas soon. I was grateful for that because I really learned a few things. I didn't bother telling him though. I didn't really have the time to write a reply, so I just texted him my thanks. I haven’t received a response, which was okay. I know he’s busy - we were both busy.

The fifth letter was a fancy card, encased in an even fancier envelope. It’s a simple invitation letter. A wedding invitation to be exact. His wedding. Shoyo's getting married to a guy named Atsumu Miya. Yes, a guy. I didn’t even know he can get attracted to men. God. I don’t even know what to say. It’s so Shoyo to do that – to say something out of the blue, at the last minute. He always knows how to shock people. He always renders everyone speechless. I guess he never changed that habit of his. In the invitation, my name was written as a guest. Below my name, there's a handwritten note. I recognize his handwriting. "You have no excuse not to meet me in Amsterdam now! It’s my special day!" I e-mailed him my acceptance of his invitation, coupled with congratulations and take cares, too flabbergasted to say anything else.

I’m currently on the plane going to Amsterdam, holding the fifth letter, making sure I remembered the date right. I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Fate really gave me everything I want but this. Fate took away all my chances of us happening. It even went as far as taking away all the things we bonded over together.

First, it was the obsession with volleyball. I was the only one left bewitched with the prospect of being an athlete when Hinata decided to study and not go pro.

Then, it was the love for food. Yes, it may seem petty, but besides the sport, it was the other thing we never stop thinking about. All our texts from high school up until he’s gone abroad were mostly about food. When he decided he didn't love it as much as I do anymore, our conversations turned rare until they ebbed into nothing. We didn't have anything else to babble about besides the awful small talks.

The last straw was the fourth letter. He talked about the university and the courses he studied nonstop. His hate for studying turned to like, while I’m still left hating it. I couldn’t relate to all those university talks, and while he can relate to volleyball, he doesn’t care that much about it anymore. We were not only on the opposite sides of the world literally but figuratively as well.

As I look at the clouds through the window, I began thinking about the wedding invitation. The gold and black accents in it, the simple yet intricate designs, the names in there – Shoyo Hinata and Atsumu Miya. And so I take back what I said.

I take it back. The fourth letter wasn’t the one that sealed the deal. Nope, the last straw was the fifth. The other letters showed what differences we now have. Those letters exposed pieces of Shoyo that were taken away from me.

The fifth letter though. It slapped me right in the face. It took not just fragments of him, but Shoyo himself. He was forcefully grasped away from me. He was at an arm’s length before, but now he’s so far away, unreachable. And I can never grab him, clutch him close, and tell him to clasp his hands with mine. There are no chances for that anymore. I lost them whenever I stop myself from confessing.

I was the only one who remained the same. Everything about Shoyo changed. The only constant thing that lingered was my great affection for him, and his lack of attention for me.

But it’s okay. I will be okay.

I can get through this just fine. I’ve already survived this unrequited love for so long. What’s forevermore to go, right?


End file.
